*This is a prayer I wrote one night in Costa Rica. Seeing so much poverty, suffering, and oppression in the world, and realizing that being a North American automatically made me a rich, powerful oppressor in the world, praying became very difficult. I wrote this to get away from thanking God for my "blessings," asking for more stuff, and focusing on my small, selfish world. I tried to write a prayer that pleads on behalf of people who are really in need like people without food and children fighting without choice, and pleads on my behalf as a rich, powerful world citizen to open my heart to the injustice and inequality in the world.
Tonight I pray for child soldiers,
for people sleeping on empty stomachs,
for people without opportunity, without hope, without a future.
I pray for those oppressed by the desires of a few powerful people.
Send people to bring justice.
Send peace into the hearts of soldiers
and into the hearts of politicians who declare wars.
Send hope to those with nothing else.
Open the eyes of North American Christians with wealth and power.
Open our eyes to the injustice in the world.
Close our hearts to our desires and our lusts to obtain more.
Protect your disciples who are creating justice in the world, for they are few.
In my life, open my eyes to the suffering around me.
Give me strength to act justly and bring justice.
Give me discipline to seek the truth and not simply believe everything I hear.
Give me nothing more than what I need to survive today.
Stretch me.
Challenge me.
I pray that I will not be comfortable with my life as it is now.
Forgive me for not acting justly, for being ignorant and comfortable.
Forgive me for trying to be perfect.
I have sins. Forgive me and teach me to forgive others as freely as You do.
Take my life, my wealth, all that I have, for it is Yours.
I have been an oppressor in the world for a long time without knowing, but that is no excuse. Now, I change sides because You are the God of the oppressed.
You defend the downtrodden,
feed the hungry,
give a voice to the worthless.
I want to join Your side.
Use me to defend the oppressed,
bring food and water to destitute people,
and be a voice for those who have lost theirs.
I don't know the way and am fighting against corporate giants and transnational companies, who steal the lives of people in order to lavish the luxurious lives of the few.
Show me the way.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Faces: A Poem
For my final creative presentation, I wrote a poem in Spanish that was a composition of my experiences. I translated it to English, and although I like it better in Spanish, I want to share it and thus share some of my experiences and new thoughts. Here goes.
I could tell stories of bubbling volcanoes,
of beaches as beautiful as deserted islands,
of rain forests full of monkeys and exotic birds.
But how would you see me?
Would you see me as the same girl who said good-bye 3 months ago?
I am not that girl. I'm a different person.
The volcanoes, the beaches, the rain forests didn't change me.
The faces of the people, that's what changed me.
The face of my Nicaraguan father
working in a pineapple field
for food each day
for his family
for his one-room shack.
Living for today, hoping for a better tomorrow.
He doesn't ask for more.
Don't pity him. Don't just give him money.
Which is better: a life of wealth, loneliness, and sadness
or a life of poverty, love, and happiness?
Learn from him. Give his kids the same opportunities that your kids have.
The face of a prostitute
working with a man between her legs
without value
without love
only thinking about her 5 kids
She doesn't ask for more.
Don't scorn her. Don't tell her she has other options.
Which is worse: sex or hunger?
Value her. Give her other options. Give her hope.
The face of a gay minister
knowing his difference since age 6
wanting to change himself
wanting to change his life
All he asks for is acceptance.
Don't judge him. Don't preach to him.
Which is worse: a gay man who's alive or a dead man?
Listen to his story. Accept him.
The face of a student in the back of the class
writing notes off the board
not knowing what they read
not knowing the alphabet
or one single letter.
All he asks for is a little attention.
Don't just give him the answers. Don't ignore him.
Which is better: an illiterate 3rd grader or a literate 2nd grader?
Be patient. Help him. Teach him.
The face of an 8 year old child
watching the Marines capture her dad
watching the Marines beat her mom
for nationalistic ideas in a country that isn't her own
in a country that's an illegitimate child of the United States.
All she asks is to see her father again.
Don't send the American military. Don't justify war.
Which is worse: democracy at the cost of the wealthy
or socialism at the cost of thousands of lives?
Leave her country. Give her peace. Return her father.
And now, you may see me as radical, liberal, maybe even lost.
All I ask is that you see my face.
Which is worse: knowledge in silence or passion with a voice?
Listen to me. Continue loving me. Look at my face.
*Basically, what I tried to convey in the poem was the ease at making judgments, build walls, and name sins when stories are generalized. When we get to know people, their stories become personal and we discover that some things aren't as clear as black and white. War. Poverty. Homosexuality. Prostitution. It's easy to draw lines and hate, but God calls us above that. God calls us to love and accept all. When we see people's faces behind the statistics, we care a whole lot more about what the statistics talk about.
I could tell stories of bubbling volcanoes,
of beaches as beautiful as deserted islands,
of rain forests full of monkeys and exotic birds.
But how would you see me?
Would you see me as the same girl who said good-bye 3 months ago?
I am not that girl. I'm a different person.
The volcanoes, the beaches, the rain forests didn't change me.
The faces of the people, that's what changed me.
The face of my Nicaraguan father
working in a pineapple field
for food each day
for his family
for his one-room shack.
Living for today, hoping for a better tomorrow.
He doesn't ask for more.
Don't pity him. Don't just give him money.
Which is better: a life of wealth, loneliness, and sadness
or a life of poverty, love, and happiness?
Learn from him. Give his kids the same opportunities that your kids have.
The face of a prostitute
working with a man between her legs
without value
without love
only thinking about her 5 kids
She doesn't ask for more.
Don't scorn her. Don't tell her she has other options.
Which is worse: sex or hunger?
Value her. Give her other options. Give her hope.
The face of a gay minister
knowing his difference since age 6
wanting to change himself
wanting to change his life
All he asks for is acceptance.
Don't judge him. Don't preach to him.
Which is worse: a gay man who's alive or a dead man?
Listen to his story. Accept him.
The face of a student in the back of the class
writing notes off the board
not knowing what they read
not knowing the alphabet
or one single letter.
All he asks for is a little attention.
Don't just give him the answers. Don't ignore him.
Which is better: an illiterate 3rd grader or a literate 2nd grader?
Be patient. Help him. Teach him.
The face of an 8 year old child
watching the Marines capture her dad
watching the Marines beat her mom
for nationalistic ideas in a country that isn't her own
in a country that's an illegitimate child of the United States.
All she asks is to see her father again.
Don't send the American military. Don't justify war.
Which is worse: democracy at the cost of the wealthy
or socialism at the cost of thousands of lives?
Leave her country. Give her peace. Return her father.
And now, you may see me as radical, liberal, maybe even lost.
All I ask is that you see my face.
Which is worse: knowledge in silence or passion with a voice?
Listen to me. Continue loving me. Look at my face.
*Basically, what I tried to convey in the poem was the ease at making judgments, build walls, and name sins when stories are generalized. When we get to know people, their stories become personal and we discover that some things aren't as clear as black and white. War. Poverty. Homosexuality. Prostitution. It's easy to draw lines and hate, but God calls us above that. God calls us to love and accept all. When we see people's faces behind the statistics, we care a whole lot more about what the statistics talk about.
Panama
Well, I now write this looking back on what happened almost a month ago. It's hard to believe I'm back in the States and that my life in Central America seems like ages ago. I'll catch you up on the rest of my experience in the Latin America Studies Program.
We said good-bye to San Jose December 3 as we flew to Panama City in the morning. We spent the night in a hotel, leaving most of our baggage behind, and leaving the next day for another early morning flight. This time we each had one small backpack and boarded one small jet plane that only fit 20 people. That day was my birthday, and what a birthday it was! Definitely the most unique birthday yet. We woke up at 4:30 to make it to the airport, and they sang to me on the bus, the earliest I've ever been sung to. That was really the only official birthday thing that happened. I didn't tell anyone on the island it was my birthday; I didn't want any special treatment on my birthday because we were already getting special treatment just by visiting them. But what a birthday it was. The plane ride was breath-taking. We took off around sunrise and rode along as the morning colors spanned the horizon. Since the plane was little, we stayed low to the ground and could see all the landscape of Panama. Panama contains the second highest amount of rain forest, second to the Amazon. We flew from the Pacific side to the Caribbean side where the Kunas' land is. They own a stretch of land along the coast and several hundred islands off the coast. It was a beautiful birthday just to experience such new, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.
We landed at the "airport" which consisted of a small shack, a runway surrounded by land and forest, and a port of canoes. We loaded up our backpacks on a canoe and thus began the journey. Our group was split into 2 islands. We arrived to our island first, and we met our families right away. My dad spoke Spanish thankfully; the majority of people only speak Kuna, their native dialect. He walked me to our "house" which consisted of 5 huts: sleeping hut, bread-making hut, cooking hut, shower/bathing hut, and the "bathroom" hut located above the ocean. My family included my dad and mom, both age 28; 3 brothers, ages 2, 4, 5; and grandmother. There were lots of neighbors and other family members who came by to meet the American. It was a long day since it began so early, but such a wonderful day adjusting to everyday life on the islands with the Kunas.
The island was very small. It took a minute to walk the width and 10 minutes to walk the length. Between 1000 and 2000 people live on the island. Life is very laid back and simple. The men go fishing for food and go to the mainland where they cultivate platanos, coconuts, and other fruits and vegetables. Women cook, take care of children, and make molas, their native stitching made into shirts. Recently, tourists have fallen in love with molas, and the making of molas provides a significant income for the Kunas. Money is used on the island, but only to exchange goods. Everyone has what they need on the island because they use what the land gives without exploitation. A beautiful existence. The government of Panama works with the Kuna government to give them their own authority while still being part of Panama. It was great to see that old customs of native peoples still exist in the world.
The people treated us so well on the island. They took us on special trips to another deserted island to swim and their farms on the mainland. We worshiped with them 2 nights and even got to sit in on a governmental meeting. They caught and cooked a lobster and crab dinner for us. Their diet is mainly rice, fish, and platanos. We even got to help prepare, aka slaughter, fish. Not my favorite part. Most of the days were spent relaxing in hammocks, just being with the families. I loved experiencing such unique lifestyle and customs.
It's difficult to describe my experience because it is so different from our own lifestyles. The biggest adjustment was not doing much of anything and just being. They take care of their immediate needs: food, clothing, shelter; but, there is not a rush and push for new and better, always wanting more, like here in the States. Even here when we get together to hang out, we're always doing something whether we watch a movie, play sports, play games, etc. Their lifestyle consists of sitting, being, and conversing with one another. I loved the simplicity.
We left the islands after 5 nights there. We returned to Panama City and explored historical sites such as the Panama Canal. From Panama we flew to Miami to reunite with the whole group for a re-entry workshop. And December 13, I finally reunited with my family in Memphis, as well as with four friends who made a surprise visit.
So now it's almost been 2 weeks since my time in Latin America. It has been difficult to adjust between cultures and between the extremes I've experienced within the past 4 months. I'm still figuring out a lot of things in my life, especially what to do after graduation. Only time will tell as no answers come easy or without processing. All I can say now is that the past 4 months changed me, changed my life, but only God knows what those changes will produce.Vamos a ver.
We said good-bye to San Jose December 3 as we flew to Panama City in the morning. We spent the night in a hotel, leaving most of our baggage behind, and leaving the next day for another early morning flight. This time we each had one small backpack and boarded one small jet plane that only fit 20 people. That day was my birthday, and what a birthday it was! Definitely the most unique birthday yet. We woke up at 4:30 to make it to the airport, and they sang to me on the bus, the earliest I've ever been sung to. That was really the only official birthday thing that happened. I didn't tell anyone on the island it was my birthday; I didn't want any special treatment on my birthday because we were already getting special treatment just by visiting them. But what a birthday it was. The plane ride was breath-taking. We took off around sunrise and rode along as the morning colors spanned the horizon. Since the plane was little, we stayed low to the ground and could see all the landscape of Panama. Panama contains the second highest amount of rain forest, second to the Amazon. We flew from the Pacific side to the Caribbean side where the Kunas' land is. They own a stretch of land along the coast and several hundred islands off the coast. It was a beautiful birthday just to experience such new, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.
We landed at the "airport" which consisted of a small shack, a runway surrounded by land and forest, and a port of canoes. We loaded up our backpacks on a canoe and thus began the journey. Our group was split into 2 islands. We arrived to our island first, and we met our families right away. My dad spoke Spanish thankfully; the majority of people only speak Kuna, their native dialect. He walked me to our "house" which consisted of 5 huts: sleeping hut, bread-making hut, cooking hut, shower/bathing hut, and the "bathroom" hut located above the ocean. My family included my dad and mom, both age 28; 3 brothers, ages 2, 4, 5; and grandmother. There were lots of neighbors and other family members who came by to meet the American. It was a long day since it began so early, but such a wonderful day adjusting to everyday life on the islands with the Kunas.
The island was very small. It took a minute to walk the width and 10 minutes to walk the length. Between 1000 and 2000 people live on the island. Life is very laid back and simple. The men go fishing for food and go to the mainland where they cultivate platanos, coconuts, and other fruits and vegetables. Women cook, take care of children, and make molas, their native stitching made into shirts. Recently, tourists have fallen in love with molas, and the making of molas provides a significant income for the Kunas. Money is used on the island, but only to exchange goods. Everyone has what they need on the island because they use what the land gives without exploitation. A beautiful existence. The government of Panama works with the Kuna government to give them their own authority while still being part of Panama. It was great to see that old customs of native peoples still exist in the world.
The people treated us so well on the island. They took us on special trips to another deserted island to swim and their farms on the mainland. We worshiped with them 2 nights and even got to sit in on a governmental meeting. They caught and cooked a lobster and crab dinner for us. Their diet is mainly rice, fish, and platanos. We even got to help prepare, aka slaughter, fish. Not my favorite part. Most of the days were spent relaxing in hammocks, just being with the families. I loved experiencing such unique lifestyle and customs.
It's difficult to describe my experience because it is so different from our own lifestyles. The biggest adjustment was not doing much of anything and just being. They take care of their immediate needs: food, clothing, shelter; but, there is not a rush and push for new and better, always wanting more, like here in the States. Even here when we get together to hang out, we're always doing something whether we watch a movie, play sports, play games, etc. Their lifestyle consists of sitting, being, and conversing with one another. I loved the simplicity.
We left the islands after 5 nights there. We returned to Panama City and explored historical sites such as the Panama Canal. From Panama we flew to Miami to reunite with the whole group for a re-entry workshop. And December 13, I finally reunited with my family in Memphis, as well as with four friends who made a surprise visit.
So now it's almost been 2 weeks since my time in Latin America. It has been difficult to adjust between cultures and between the extremes I've experienced within the past 4 months. I'm still figuring out a lot of things in my life, especially what to do after graduation. Only time will tell as no answers come easy or without processing. All I can say now is that the past 4 months changed me, changed my life, but only God knows what those changes will produce.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Coming to an end...
The trip continues to wind down quickly. This is the last week of actual class. I have a test tomorrow and a paper and creative presentation due Friday. Tonight I'm going to another soccer game which I'm way excited about to get my mind off the projects. Monday we leave for Panama. My group does anyway, another group goes to Guatemala and another to Cuba. We fly out in the morning and spend the night in Panama City. Tuesday we leave early to go to some islands off Panama where the Kunas live which are an indigenous group of people. We have to go there on little boats and then we'll just be living with the people for 5 nights, 6 days. I'll turn 22 on the island so that should be a different birthday experience. We'll be roughing it again. No electricity, fish and rice for the meals, sleeping in hammocks, etc. I am really excited! We'll return to Panama City for 2 more nights to hang out in the city and see the Panama Canal. Then we'll fly to Miami for re-entry culture shock and return home December 13!!! I can't wait to see everyone and catch up with you all. It'll be here before we know it!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
4 More Weeks
Today marks officially 4 more weeks to my return home. It's hard to believe how fast the time has flown. I am ready to see family and friends and eat some home cooked American food again, but I will also miss my life here. I'm trying to take advantage of it since there's not much left!
My life has been busier than I thought these last 2 weeks. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays I go to an elementary school and work with first and second graders, but they are like 8 and 9 year olds. It is a lot of fun (especially since we always play soccer during the breaks in the halls) but a LOT of work. I am working with kids who need extra attention and have fallen behind in math and reading. The class has over 30 students so it is impossible for the teacher to give the appropriate attention. It is sad to see how the kids through the neglect of the attention they need to understand have lost a little of their sense of worth. They just think they can't do it and have accustomed themselves to cheating or just getting it wrong. I never really thought of schools have "marginalized" groups, but it is clear to see that every classroom does. I have gained a whole new respect for teachers. Through education classes at Lipscomb, I've worked and taught in classrooms before, but for short periods of time, like an hour. After spending 7 to 4 in the classroom 3 days a week, I don't see how the teachers do it! I am pooped! Especially last Thursday when Steven and I were the substitutes in the afternoon for a sick teacher. Wow. That's all I can say. What a challenge.
Tuesdays and Thursdays we have grammar class in small groups of 6 or 7 and process groups to discuss our readings. We are studying different marginalized groups like prostitutes, squatters, etc. We also go to different organizations to hear their stories. Last week we went to an organization called Jesus para la Cuidad. They offer classes and activities mainly for adolescents to try to change typical habits that come with poverty like violence, abuse, drugs, etc., and to offer hope and opportunity to people who don't receive any. Today we went to an organization that works with women who are looking to leave the sex industry. Costa Rica is huge in prostitution, human trafficking, sex tourism, child prostitution, everything. We heard 3 different stories of women who are healing for years of living a street lifestyle. Their wounds are deep and it was amazing to hear their lives which stand in dark contrast to my comfortable one. They entered prostitution to make money for their families at the age of 11 or 12. One mom gave the girl an outfit and told her to do it because the family needed money. I am enjoying reading and hearing stories different from my own that represent many groups of people who live without a voice, live with opportunity and hope, live trying to survive today with little hope of a better tomorrow, people who are burdened by the social systems that stand. I don't know how, but I want to represent these people and work to change the systems that stand. Our benevelance may help in the short term, but there are deep, socital changes that are needed to truly help these people and give their lives value.
So that's what I've been up to. We're going to Teatro Nacional tonight to see a production, not even really sure of what we're seeing. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! Think about me as we have class that morning and are trying to piece together a Thanksgiving meal for the afternoon. I sure will miss Grandma's feast and the time with family. Love and peace to all.
My life has been busier than I thought these last 2 weeks. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays I go to an elementary school and work with first and second graders, but they are like 8 and 9 year olds. It is a lot of fun (especially since we always play soccer during the breaks in the halls) but a LOT of work. I am working with kids who need extra attention and have fallen behind in math and reading. The class has over 30 students so it is impossible for the teacher to give the appropriate attention. It is sad to see how the kids through the neglect of the attention they need to understand have lost a little of their sense of worth. They just think they can't do it and have accustomed themselves to cheating or just getting it wrong. I never really thought of schools have "marginalized" groups, but it is clear to see that every classroom does. I have gained a whole new respect for teachers. Through education classes at Lipscomb, I've worked and taught in classrooms before, but for short periods of time, like an hour. After spending 7 to 4 in the classroom 3 days a week, I don't see how the teachers do it! I am pooped! Especially last Thursday when Steven and I were the substitutes in the afternoon for a sick teacher. Wow. That's all I can say. What a challenge.
Tuesdays and Thursdays we have grammar class in small groups of 6 or 7 and process groups to discuss our readings. We are studying different marginalized groups like prostitutes, squatters, etc. We also go to different organizations to hear their stories. Last week we went to an organization called Jesus para la Cuidad. They offer classes and activities mainly for adolescents to try to change typical habits that come with poverty like violence, abuse, drugs, etc., and to offer hope and opportunity to people who don't receive any. Today we went to an organization that works with women who are looking to leave the sex industry. Costa Rica is huge in prostitution, human trafficking, sex tourism, child prostitution, everything. We heard 3 different stories of women who are healing for years of living a street lifestyle. Their wounds are deep and it was amazing to hear their lives which stand in dark contrast to my comfortable one. They entered prostitution to make money for their families at the age of 11 or 12. One mom gave the girl an outfit and told her to do it because the family needed money. I am enjoying reading and hearing stories different from my own that represent many groups of people who live without a voice, live with opportunity and hope, live trying to survive today with little hope of a better tomorrow, people who are burdened by the social systems that stand. I don't know how, but I want to represent these people and work to change the systems that stand. Our benevelance may help in the short term, but there are deep, socital changes that are needed to truly help these people and give their lives value.
So that's what I've been up to. We're going to Teatro Nacional tonight to see a production, not even really sure of what we're seeing. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! Think about me as we have class that morning and are trying to piece together a Thanksgiving meal for the afternoon. I sure will miss Grandma's feast and the time with family. Love and peace to all.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Fall Break
So last Wednesday was the last day of our regular core seminar. We ended with group presentations and I found out today that my group got an A. Also found out I got an 85 on my paper so I was pretty pleased. After class, Jessie, Caroline, Rachel, and I hopped on a bus and headed to La Fortuna, which is a city about 4 hours north that is home to the most active volcano (Volcán Arenal) in Costa Rica. We stayed at a hostel that had a swimming pool which we thoroughly enjoyed during the day when it was blazing hot. Crazy for November, normal for Costa Rica.
Thursday we just hung out at the pool and then it rained so we just played cards and ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches, our lunch for the whole weekend. Later that afternoon other students from our group arrived. We went to the hot springs that night which were so relaxing and fun.
Friday we hiked to a waterfall and played around in the cold water there. Absolutely gorgeous. That afternoon we took a cab to the Observatory lodge which is closest to the volcano. We saw it up close and personal and could even hear the rocks spewing out of the top and watch them tumbling down the mountain. We never saw lava because at night we weren't close enough.
Saturday I hiked about a 2 hour straight incline to Cerro Chato, a lake-filled volcanic crater where I could also see the volcano. Absolutely beautiful. That night we went to a nice restaurant. Sunday we checked out of the hostel and headed back home to San Jose. It was a very nice and relaxing break from our school work.
Today has begun a new schedule. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have language and literature classes and we also go to hear different speakers. We are specifically discussing different marginalized groups like the poor, women, etc. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I am going to be helping at an elementary school. Not sure of all the details, but I will be working with 1-3 graders who have learning disabilities. I think I'll be working with about 4 students in areas of reading and math. Kinda nervous but excited to get into the schools here, too.
So that's what's new in my life. I don't have much time to write or I would elaborate. I realized this weekend how much Costa Rica has changed me. For one, I cannot sleep past 8 am (which is very unusual for me) and I am ready to go to bed at 10 pm. Also, I noticed myself noticing things that previously would not have bothered me. For instance, we went to this one waterfall at a hotel and I noticed signs of deforrestation and it made me so mad. Before this experience, I knew nothing of the fact! Just some thoughts to tell...later!
Thursday we just hung out at the pool and then it rained so we just played cards and ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches, our lunch for the whole weekend. Later that afternoon other students from our group arrived. We went to the hot springs that night which were so relaxing and fun.
Friday we hiked to a waterfall and played around in the cold water there. Absolutely gorgeous. That afternoon we took a cab to the Observatory lodge which is closest to the volcano. We saw it up close and personal and could even hear the rocks spewing out of the top and watch them tumbling down the mountain. We never saw lava because at night we weren't close enough.
Saturday I hiked about a 2 hour straight incline to Cerro Chato, a lake-filled volcanic crater where I could also see the volcano. Absolutely beautiful. That night we went to a nice restaurant. Sunday we checked out of the hostel and headed back home to San Jose. It was a very nice and relaxing break from our school work.
Today has begun a new schedule. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have language and literature classes and we also go to hear different speakers. We are specifically discussing different marginalized groups like the poor, women, etc. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I am going to be helping at an elementary school. Not sure of all the details, but I will be working with 1-3 graders who have learning disabilities. I think I'll be working with about 4 students in areas of reading and math. Kinda nervous but excited to get into the schools here, too.
So that's what's new in my life. I don't have much time to write or I would elaborate. I realized this weekend how much Costa Rica has changed me. For one, I cannot sleep past 8 am (which is very unusual for me) and I am ready to go to bed at 10 pm. Also, I noticed myself noticing things that previously would not have bothered me. For instance, we went to this one waterfall at a hotel and I noticed signs of deforrestation and it made me so mad. Before this experience, I knew nothing of the fact! Just some thoughts to tell...later!
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